Your Garbage Disposal Wrote You a Letter

If you’re like most people, you adore your garbage disposal. Kitchen scraps gone with the push of a button? What’s not to love?

But despite all your adoring glances, your garbage disposal might not love you back. In fact, it might be writing you a letter right now.

Dear Homeowner ,

Hi! It’s me, your garbage disposal. Yes, that nifty little contraption in your sink. I just want to say thank you for feeding me all sorts of tasty treats. Burnt toast, cooked carrots, old beans—yum! And that time you freshened me up with some lemon peels? Amazing. Just for that, I’ll forgive you for last Thursday’s fork incident.

Okay, now that all the niceties are out of the way, we need to have a little chat. I know you have a lot going on in your life and you probably have better things to do than worry about li’l ol’ me, but I’m hurting. Literally. Sometimes you throw things down me that I can’t handle, and I’m not just talking about Grandma’s silverware. These are everyday items that get caught in my blades, clog up my drain, and shorten what would otherwise be a very long and maintenance-free existence.

Here are a few examples of what you should never, ever toss my way:

Egg shells : One of the most highly debated items. Despite what you may have heard, egg shells do not sharpen my blades. Their pesky membranes can actually get caught up in my blades, doing more harm than good.

Pasta: When exposed to water, starchy leftovers like pasta and rice can swell and clog the drain. Instead of giving them to me, you can compost them (or eat them!).

Fibrous vegetables: Veggies like celery, lettuce, asparagus, rhubarb and artichokes are too stringy to me chew up. Their fibres can easily wrap around my blades and clog up the drain. The same goes for corn husks. Bad idea.

Animal bones: Most people would never dream of putting t-bones or pork chops down their disposal. But fish bones and chicken bones? That’s common practice, and it’s not a good one. Big or small, you should never toss bones down the disposal. I’m not strong enough to handle them!

Potato peels: You may get away with it from time to time, but these starchy little offenders will catch up with you. Peels turn to glue in the drain and clog up my moving parts.

Grease: Butter, shortening, oil and other greasy substances will solidify and slowly accumulate in my drain, leading to a nasty clog. Plus, they’re stinky. I don’t like being stinky.

Fruit pits: If you can’t chew it, neither can I. Fruit pits (even small ones like olive pits) are way too hard for me to process.

Harsh chemicals: Please don’t use harsh chemicals like bleach and drain cleaners. They can damage my blades and pipes! Instead, try using a natural cleaner like Borax. It’s much nicer to my insides (and the environment).

And now for a couple of things I do enjoy every once and a while:

Ice and salt : For a quick and easy clean, fill me with two cups of ice and one cup of rock salt. Then, run me with cold water for 5 to 10 seconds. This is a great way to remove that tough sludge and debris that refuses to budge.

Citrus fruits: The next time I’m smelling a little funky, throw me a few lemon or orange peels. They’ll have me smelling summery sweet!

Even if you do follow all of these guidelines, accidents do happen. And that’s okay! Just be sure to call in a qualified plumber to get me up and running again. After all, you don’t want to make the problem any worse.

Thanks for the love!

Your Garbage Disposal

P.S. Sorry about eating your necklace.

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